Halloween Candy
Ah, Halloween, the time of year when I, a father with a penchant for traditional Halloween candies, find myself in a candy conundrum. You see, while I long for the days of simple, classic treats, my sons, with their ever-evolving taste buds and adventurous spirits, insist on indulging in all the wild and wacky confections modern Halloween has to offer. So, in the spirit of compromise (or maybe just to satisfy my curiosity), I've decided to create a list of the Top Ten Halloween candies, complete with a dash of humor and, of course, a healthy dose of judgment.
10) Nerds. These tiny, tangy morsels are like a science experiment in your mouth. My sons adore them, but I can't help but wonder if they're secretly trying to recreate the Big Bang with every handful. Where's the peace in my Halloween candy?
9) Sour Skittles. Sour? Seriously, boys? I've aged significantly while watching my kids pucker up over these sour Skittles. I'll stick to the original, thank you very much, and keep my taste buds in my comfort zone.
8) Snickers. Nuts, caramel, nougat, and chocolate. A Snickers bar has it all, and while I appreciate the hearty and satisfying nature of this candy, I can't help but feel like I need a nap after eating one. Give me a good old nap-inducing candy coma any day!
7) Crunch Bar. This is a personal favorite of mine. It's like a symphony of crispy rice and creamy milk chocolate, providing the perfect balance of textures and flavors. Now, this candy doesn't try to be anything it's not. It doesn't pretend to be a zombie's brain or a vampire's fang – it's just good old-fashioned chocolatey crunchiness. You can't go wrong with a classic, and I won't judge my kids for loving it too. We might have a father-son Crunch Bar bonding session this Halloween.
6) Gummy Worms. Worms? Really? It's not that I'm squeamish, but Halloween is supposed to be spooky, not squishy. I'll never understand the fascination with chomping down on rubbery invertebrates. To each their own, I suppose.
5) M&M’s. The iconic M&M's are a timeless choice. Perfectly palpable, poppable, and versatile, they come in all sorts of colors and limited-edition flavors. It’s like the Rolling Stones of the candy world - the classics never go out of style, my friends.
4) Pop Rocks. My sons adore the explosive sensation of Pop Rocks. It's like a fireworks show in their mouths, and they can't get enough. I prefer my entertainment on a screen, not in a candy wrapper. But to each their own, I guess.
3) Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups. A peanut butter and chocolate marriage made in heaven. These delights prove that innovation isn't always a bad thing. No judgment here; in fact, I secretly stash a few of these for myself, but don't tell the boys.
2) Sour Patch Kids. Okay, maybe I'm not entirely stuck in the past. Sour Patch Kids have a sweet and sour punch that's perfect for a good old-fashioned taste bud wake-up call. But here's the deal – if my kids insist on turning everything sour, I'm counting on them to do their laundry!
1) Candy Corn. Traditionalists, unite! Candy corn is the undisputed champion of classic Halloween candy. I mean, what's not to love about those tri-colored kernels that resemble, well, actual corn? Plus, they make for excellent makeshift vampire fangs when you stick 'em between your teeth. A timeless delight.
In the end, whether it's candy corn or gummy worms, Halloween is all about having fun and indulging in the sweets of your choice. So, I’ll let the kids have their candy adventures, and I'll stick to my tried-and-true favorites. It's all part of the spooky season of fun, and we can always come together over our love for one thing: the joy of snacking on Halloween candy.
